Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Vital Information for Your Everyday Life

My friend recently asked me to answer a few questions for a research piece. Posting them here because I think these are very common questions regarding feminism that stem from SERIOUS misconceptions:

Do you think feminism is a position of defense or offense?

If we're going to look at feminism this way, I think it can be seen as both. While feminists do try to fight back against existing ideologies that are harmful to women, in my own life, I've certainly been able to use feminism as a both an armor against these harmful attitudes and a tool to spread more positive messages and ideas. It's sad to me that in the past two years or so--ever since Republicans took control of the House and began pushing TONS of anti-women legislation, restricting access to birth control and abortion--feminists have had to take a more reactionary approach to changing cultural attitudes. Hopefully, with more female representation in Congress than ever before, we'll see less need to push back against this type of legislation and more opportunity to move forward.

Does the hatred of men play a role in being a feminist?


Absolutely not. This is a common misconception that stems from people's general misunderstanding of sets and subsets. Feminism is a subset of egalitarianism, which is the ideology that all human beings are equal.

The idea that feminists "hate men" represents backlash used to weaken what is actually a very powerful and threatening movement. Feminism is threatening because it challenges the status quo. Imagine if all women were loud and proud feminists--men could no longer ignore our plight and could no longer use our sex and gender as an excuse or means of oppressing us or refraining from giving us equal opportunities.

Another point that's important to illustrate here: men are also harmed by sexism and gender roles. Our culture doesn't only demean and trivialize women, it also teaches men that they can't show emotion, that they have to be all-powerful, breadwinners, dominant, etc. Feminism seeks to eradicate harmful representations of ALL genders, not just those with a female gender identity.

Do you think feminism prescribes the imminent death of chivalry?

Chivalry is an old code of conduct used by knights in the Middle Ages. It represented taking care of all of those who are weak or otherwise unable to take care of themselves. While I think we all have an important duty as human beings to take care of those in need, we need to stop having a predetermined idea that ALL women are weak and cannot take care of themselves.

Men and women can still care for each other without fostering a predetermined hierarchy of one being the weaker sex. I think the concept of chivalry has morphed into an idea that just because women now demand equality, men are no longer "supposed" to do "nice things" for women, like buy them flowers and hold doors open for them.

No one is saying you can't express your love and gratitude for another human being in this way--that goes for both men and women. But if you're going to hold a door open for someone, why wouldn't you do it for EVERYONE--regardless of their gender? The problem arises when people think "incapable" is a woman's default setting.

Do you think there really is such thing as a patriarchal family in America today? If so, do you think it will last?


Families come in all shapes and sizes in the U.S. There are many single woman households, gay and lesbian households, grandparents raising grandchildren, you name it. The traditional idea of the nuclear family is changing as our culture changes, and women are becoming more accepted in the workforce (well, at least white, skinny, middle class women). There's still a lot of work to do when it comes to creating an environment where we see all types of families as valid and equally important pieces of our social fabric.

But to answer your question--yes, patriarchy is still a rampant and prominent idea in U.S. culture.

How do you think feminism plays in a role in present day marriages? Do you think the declining success rate of marriages can be attributed to women’s rights movements in any way?


No. Divorce can be attributed to our shifting cultural and religious ideas. Divorce is becoming more feasible for women as they are able to make their own money. Also, there's an increasing decline of strict religious ideals condemning divorce.

It's interesting that people choose to link feminism to divorce rates--another example of people using unrelated facts to weaken, diminish, or undervalue the movement and thus take away its power to affect change.

If anything, feminism plays a very positive role in present-day marriages. Women are now able to hold jobs if they see fit, share housework with their partners, and can expect some level of autonomy and equal representation in a relationship. These relationships can have positive affects on children, as well, as children with feminist parents may be less negatively affected by forced gender roles and expectations.

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